MONK MODE.

Yep, that’s right, we’re going to talk about alcohol…

DISCLAIMER: I am not here trying to change anyone’s life habits. If you can personally reach all your goals in life whist drinking alcohol…then go for it. As a matter of fact…more power to you brother! This is simply my experience. Everyone is on their own journey, including myself. You do you mate.

PREFACE: I am writing this article after getting off the phone with my father, who has just told me that he is finally giving up the booze. Why? After confessing to me that he recently passed out at a wedding, most likely due to the effects of alcohol and dehydration, he simply told me that alcohol is no longer serving him any purpose anymore…and he now wants to join me on my journey.

My journey

Yes, for those who don’t know me well, I haven’t had a drink in over 3 years (I stopped counting a long time ago). Why? Like what my dad said to me today, it was just no longer serving me. No, I wasn’t previously a raging alcoholic. No, alcohol wasn’t stopping me from functioning in society. And on the other end of the spectrum, no, I was never sober prior to me giving up. I simply decided to take 100% control of my life and, for me, the negatives of drinking alcohol started to heavily out way the positives.

When I began my health journey back in 2023, I made a promise to myself to get stronger and healthier. My goals were to hit the gym 3-4 days a week and everyday do some form of exercise, eat healthy and take care of myself mentally. As a result, it was just harder to accomplish these goals whilst drinking. It felt like I was holding back, like I couldn’t be the best version of myself.

If I was drinking during the day, I was less likely to go to the gym that afternoon/night.

If I was drinking at night, I was less likely to go to the gym the next morning.

If I was drinking at all, I was more likely to:

– reach for unhealthy food.

– overeat.

– drink less water.

– not get enough sleep

– not get good, quality sleep.

– not take care of my mental health and wellbeing (meditate, get out in nature, cold showers etc.).

– say/do something I’d regret.

And I haven’t even mentioned the dreaded hangovers. I thought to myself, is an hour or 2 of an alcohol buzz really worth the come down feeling and the hangover the next day (or even the next few days)? When my kids come jumping on me at 6:00 in the morning, what type of dad do I want to be? Do I want to be the dad that brushes off his kids? Do I want to be the dad that can’t take charge of an emergency situation, because I’m drunk or hungover? Do I really not want to be 100% present with my kids all the time?

“Drinking alcohol is just borrowing happiness from tomorrow”.

– Anonymous

Alcohol is a part of our culture.

Make no mistake about it, alcohol is a massive part of our Aussie culture. It is everywhere…on our TV screens, billboards, radio, and we are all exposed at such a young age. In Australia, there’s a pub or a bottle shop around every corner. Had a great day? Celebrate with alcohol. Had a shit day? Drown it out with alcohol. Every milestone event in life that you’ve been to, alcohol is present. And we continue to ignore all the health warnings…

That is why when I decided to stop drinking, unfortunately I was not met with praise, I was actually met with the opposite…

“Why aren’t you drinking?”.

“Go on…just have one!”.

“It won’t hurt to have a drink…live a little!”.

“Don’t you like having fun?”.

“Are you an alcoholic or something?”.

And one for the women…“Are you pregnant?”.

Not only did I have to control my own urges, but constant peer pressure from others…but I stuck with it. I’m not kidding when I say that the hardest part of giving up alcohol, was telling people that I’d given up alcohol. Unfortunately, we live in a world where when you begin to improve yourself, the people around you may not like it…the old ‘crabs in a bucket’ mentality. When the one crab tries to escape the bucket, all the other crabs grab him and bring him back down to their level.

It’s sad to lose friends over something like alcohol, but you start to realise that some of your friends weren’t actually friends at all…they were just ‘drinking buddies’. When alcohol wasn’t around, they were nowhere to be seen.

You have to feel it to heal it

At first, being sober at home was easy. It was when I began going out to social events that I really started to feel just how dependent on alcohol I used to be, to the point where even not having something in my hand felt off. I was so used to using alcohol as a social lubricant that I actually felt so present without it. I was now 100% engaged and interested in everyone’s conversation…it was amazing! As if a light switch had been flicked on in my brain for the first time. I actually now look back on my previous self as being rude! Upon entering a room, I used to have conversations with people whilst having one eye on the fridge or the eksy looking for my next beer (sometimes not looking at anyone at all and making a beeline straight to the nearest alcoholic beverage).

Now…I’m just me. No more, no less. Why did I need a drink to feel more social and less anxious? Why did I need something in my hand to feel comfortable? You see, our mind and body never really gets used to calming its own nerves as it always has alcohol to do it for us. When I stopped drinking, I got used to lessening my anxiety by myself, without the need for an external substance. I got more comfortable in my own skin. I became more present. And yes, sober confidence is a real thing my friends! Alcohol will lessen your anxiety in the short term, but it actually raises it at baseline. This is why you may feel less anxious when you have a few drinks, but feel more anxious than you did previously at the end of the night or the next morning.

Look, I’m not saying that I’ll never drink again, but for now, I’m liking this new version of me. I’m feeling better, eating better and sleeping better. I don’t feel that I’m restricting myself…I feel that alcohol was restricting me.

Maybe you could consider drinking a bit less? Maybe only drink on the weekends? Maybe even try doing Dry July and raise some money for a great cause (cancer patients, their families and carers)? At this point, I just want to wish you well on whatever journey you’re on. Like I said earlier, I’m not here to change your mind at all, I’m just here to help you out wherever I can…and to wish my father all the best on his new journey.

Love you dad!

“Alcohol is the only drug where if you don’t do it, people assume you have a problem”.

– Andrew D. Huberman

Bruce Lee once said “Beer or water, my friend”…or was it “Be like water, my friend”?? I can’t remember, ha ha!

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